Saturday, December 15, 2012

Staying busy!

Well, staying busy may not be the best title for this post -- probably more like -- "on the move" -- we seem to have been mostly sitting in the car this past week, driving to the orphanage or Tokmok for paperwork, or at the notary's.  BUT we have now seen Sasha 4 times! 

There has been a lot of information given to us this week -- some of it true, some of it not.  We have been trying to observe Sasha and learn all we can (even with the language barrier) about what her needs really are.    Today we were given a piece of the puzzle by a caretaker that really helped us begin to see what that full picture of Sasha's life is. 

Sasha was brought to the orphanage when she was 4.  We weren't given the details of the home she was in, but whatever was happening there was enough to keep Sasha locked up in a little mental shell for a long time after coming to the orphanage.  She would not listen or respond to her caretakers.  She wouldn't even look at them.  They tried to teach her things, but she would not open up to them.  Slowly, she started coming out of this shell and if you could see her now, as you may have through videos on Facebook, she seems to be a well-adjusted, happy little girl.  But it doesn't take too long to realize that Sasha is still in the process of coming out of her emotional shell.  She is just learning to trust again.  Trust that someone loves her enough to put up with temper tantrums and silliness.  To let her be embarrased without being teased.  Her emotional reactions to things might be more the equivalent of what we would expect of a 5 or 6 year old.  I believe WITH ALL MY HEART that this is not the Sasha that will always be.  She will someday know that she is loved and always has a family, and she will continue to mature in those emotional reactions as she is allowed to experience them in a normal family situation -- with the discipline and love that parents have to offer.  But it will take some time.  As you watch her play with Quincy, it's a bit more like a 6 or 7 year old -- but then, she'll snap back to being 9 and talking like a 9 year old and certainly playing like one.  She does have that "tremble" in her hands, which gets a bit more pronounced the more excited she is.  It's like any child that is SUPER excited -- gets kind shaky with it all! 

Whatever experiences shaped Sasha's emotional development from birth to four years of age need to be healed in a loving home.  Once she is further along in the process of healing, we can really begin to teach her more academically.  I have to admit that I was shocked when we discovered that she didn't know her colors!  But Halya has assured us that the teachers do not force the children to learn.  If Sasha did not want to learn, they would not force her, in order to help her avoid getting so upset and slipping back into that emotional shell.  So, with time -- all will be healed -- and I KNOW that Sasha will be fine!

Quincy and I have been on an emotional rollercoaster this past week.  Today has been the first day (since leaving Kiev on Monday) that I have been able to really walk in faith ALL day, never wavering -- just trusting.  I still miss the kids at home -- and I still worry that they think we have just deserted them -- but I know that God is good.  And as my mom says, "This too shall pass!"

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Sasha!!!

I know that so many are eager to hear about the details of our day -- it's certainly been a whirlwind!

Thankfully, we made it to the train last night with only 10 minutes to spare!  Whoah -- what an adventure!  Honestly, I didn't think the train ride was all that bad!  I had taken two herbal supplements to help me sleep -- and sleep I did!  Until about 2 AM when I woke up and, honestly, it felt like it must have been 90 degrees in our little cabin.  We had closed the door -- but we quickly opened it and fell back asleep!

After we got off the train, we went to our apt.  It's way nicer than any of you are thinking right now!  At least on the inside.  Zap looks like a dump on the outside!  I'll get pics on FB pretty soon.  Seriously, if you read the post before this one, you know that I was feeling kinda' guilty when we were in Kiev, thinking maybe we shouldn't be taking Sasha away from all this!  Well, I have NO PROBLEM now.  It's really sad, actually.  These are really nice people and they are so fashionable -- but their living conditions are pretty sad! 

So, anyway -- this whole time (since Monday morning) our facilitator has been with us.  She's actually staying in the apartment with us until some paperwork is completed and needs to be delivered back to Kiev.  So, we get to the apt. (we have the same driver the whole time we are here) and lie back down for a while.  Then, around 8 -- we head out to the Children's Services Department in a town about an hour away.  We needed to get some paperwork from them (permission, I guess you could call it.)  They seemed very friendly there and really want Sasha to find a home!

Finally, we get to the orphanage  We meet with the orphanage lawyer, who asks us a few tough questions.  I hate it when they ask you WHY you want to adopt?  I tried to come up with something -- how do you explain that you saw a little girl's picture (didn't even know if I could say this -- so I didn't) and just KNEW that God told you to come get her???  But, I managed to squeak out something like "we just think that children need to be in families and we are willing to open up our family" -- I don't remember exactly what I said.  Halya (our facilitator) rambled on for quite a while with the translation -- so I think she probably helped me out!  THEN, Sasha's main caregiver came in.  She told us a few things about her -- some of which we already knew -- some of it new.  BUT, I could tell right away that she was definitely advocating for Sasha to be adopted by  us.  It turns out that this lady had given Sasha our pictures quite a while ago -- and she would use these pictures to get her to behave and calm down sometimes, etc.  Telling her that her family is coming for her she needs to calm down.

Anyway -- we talked for a while -- and as far as we knew we were waiting for the doctor to come.  Then, they said -- OK let's go into a bigger room.  So, I'm thinking that we will go into the room and meet with the doctor.  Well, when we walk in -- THERE SHE IS!!!!!!  She was so incredibly nervous and shy -- but she just could not help herself -- she jumped up and ran over and gave Quincy the biggest hug!!!  After about 30 seconds of hanging on for dear life, she came to me -- and pretty much stuck TO me the rest of the time!  Her classroom teacher was there and told us more about her.  Some of the things that these ladies shared with us COULD be a little intimidating if we were not totally prepared to hear them and if we were not COMPLETELY convinced that we were called by the Lord to rescue Sasha from this orphanage.  (Honestly, through most of it, I'm thinking -- she sounds exactly like her brother!  Did I post that she's only 9 days older than Quince?) 

So -- to try to explain Sasha during this time -- very shy, kinda' trembly (can you imagine putting ALL of your hope in these two strangers that are now hearing a whole bunch of bad things about you?)  There was a lot of talk among the adults in the room.  So, I was trying to get her to look me in the eyes.  She finally did -- and I gave her a great big smile!  SLOOOOWLY she began to come out of her shell.  At first, she couldn't look at the pictures in the album that we brought for too long -- it was like she had to look quickly at them because it was all so much to take in!  I started to show her different people -- giving them their names, etc.  By the end of the time, she was carrying that album like it was a treasure.  She took it with her and was no doubt gonna show ANYONE who crossed her path.  She also started to talk to us.  I have NO IDEA what she was saying -- but she didn't seem to get frustrated.  I told her -- "Mama, English"  and Halya was busy talking to the adults so I couldn't even get her to translate. 

So, after a while, we asked her what she would like for us to bring her (Actually, Halya asked her that) -- she said -- "whatever you bring."  Then, they asked about something she likes to eat and she said bananas.  So, by golly, we stopped at this HUGE store (probably bigger than Wal Mart) and bought her some bananas!

Finally, we spoke with the doctor, and to make a long story short, Sasha most likely does NOT have epilepsy.  She has fainted 3 times and gotten kinda' trembly at the same time when she got VERY upset about something.  It seems that we are dealing with a hyper sensitive nervous system.  The doctor also was very encouraging that she thinks if Sasha can work on not getting so upset, then she will probably be fine!

So, we head back tomorrow!  I'm really looking forward to those hugs again!  I'm sorry, but I didn't take any pics or video today!  I was caught by surprise -- and then she really didn't let me go -- plus I'd rather wait until we are more alone tomorrow.  So, I'll get pics up tomorrow, I promise!!!!!!! 

It is SUCH a blessing to us to know that you all are praying and walking this road with us!  Our kids at home are doing great -- thanks to some very incredible people in their lives!  We'll keep posting!!

Saturday, December 8, 2012

Getting Here

Well, I'm gonna be honest.  We're here -- and we wish we were home!  It's not that I don't want to get Sasha, I absolutely do -- and that's the ONLY thing keeping us here.  And it's not that we've had terrible snags on the way over -- we really haven't.  A few here and there.  And it's not that we don't like our little apartment in Kiev for the next couple of days.  It's just that Quincy and I are both home bodies.  We don't go out much and we really don't travel much -- mostly because we just don't want to!  Being home with the kids and taking our annual vacation to the mountains has always been good enough.  There was a moment when we were traipsing around the market here in Kiev trying to figure out what the food was (it actually wasn't that hard -- except that Q picked up sparkling water instead of "still" water -- yuck!) that I thought -- are we really doing the right thing?  Are we really supposed to take Sasha away from this country that is hers?  Maybe we really aren't supposed to be here -- let's just go home!!

And then we drove into downtown Kiev.  Whoah.  That's an experience.  It's like driving in NYC, except with a driver that doesn't speak your language!  I looked around and remembered that I know God has called Sasha out of this country.  Who knows -- maybe someday she'll come back!  Maybe she'll come back and do something great for this country!  I just know what I know right now - which is this, God has asked me to do something very difficult for a few weeks and it will literally change the life of one girl, who will grow to be a mommy who will have children who will have children . . ..  Sometimes the decisions we make literally affect generations -- for good or bad!  We can be uncomfortable and homesick for a few weeks if THAT much is depending on it.  BUT, I would just LOVE to have your prayers for us. 

We do want to get home as soon as possible so please pray that we will find favor (and speed) with all the government officials.  Also, I had a lot of pain (severe headache) when we were landing in Frankfurt and Kiev.  I've never had trouble flying before so I really wasn't prepared for that -- and I've still got a twinge of pain.  And, of course, PLEASE pray for our kids and us -- that the homesickness will ease up some!  Thanks!

Thursday, December 6, 2012

It's FINALLY time!

I can hardly believe it!  Actually, I really can't believe it!  Tomorrow morning, 8:30 AM, we will leave here and head for Tampa Intl. Airport.  We will fly from Tampa to Newark, NJ, then on to Frankfurt, Germany then to Kiev, Ukraine! 

It's incredible to think that "before the foundations of the world," God knew that our daughter Sasha would be born in a country on the other side of the world.  He knew all the circumstances of her birth and why it would work out that way.  I would never have chosen that for her.  I would much rather have carried her in my tummy and given her a warm, safe, loving home from the very beginning.  I can only trust that He will be faithful in her life to turn those events into His glory and for her good.  I believe that God has amazing plans for Sasha.  We just feel so privileged to be part of that plan -- as with all of our children.

Some of you have asked about our 3 kids here at home.  They are all looking forward to Sasha coming home.  It's almost unbelievable (well, it's just a God thing) how much they feel that she is a part of our family.  I anticipated having to talk through how "Daddy and Mommy believe that God is calling us to bring Sasha home . . ." but, honestly, it's just been accepted from Day One with them.  They've NEVER questioned or expressed worry about what she will be like or how things would change.  In fact, I've TRIED to get them to think through all the changes that are coming.  Well, with my two boys, you might as well hang that up.  They don't think through anything! LOL!  With Carolyn, I kept assuring her that it would be OK to be worried about how Sasha might act or whatever . . . and she seems to only care about two things -- 1. How is she going to be able to be a good big sister and help her if she can't speak Russian (I feel the same way about being her Mommy!) and 2. She really doesn't want Sasha to think that her American Girl doll is "shareable."  LOL!  Well, we took care of #2 by buying Sasha her own doll (but much cheaper, from Sam's Club).

Don't get me wrong.  We KNOW that the dynamics of our family will change -- and there will most certainly be times when the transition from one family dynamic to another will not be easy!  BUT, underneath it all, there is a peace that we are truly going to Ukraine to bring our daughter home.

We would LOVE any and all prayers -- as the Lord lays us on your hearts!  We will be gone for about 3 weeks on the first trip -- then home for about a week, and then my dad and I will return to Ukraine to pick up Sasha.  We will be updating this blog and Facebook as much as possible while we are over there!

THANK you to all who have given and prayed and followed our journey so far!  You have blessed us beyond words.  Sasha will eventually learn how much she is loved by so many!

Friday, October 26, 2012

Moving along!

We are so excited!  Our dossier is officially delivered to our facilitator in Ukraine -- and she's in the process of translating it!  Then, hopefully, we'll be travelling in 5-7 weeks.  At least, that's the time frame we've been told!  I've been able to get to the point where things have slowed down -- the paperwork is done!  The auction is over and most items have been distributed -- so I can finally start to just think about Sasha again.  I'm so looking forward to getting to know her.  I wonder about the life experiences she's already had -- wondering about the healing . . . the process of redemption she will experience in her life.  I wonder about my biological kids -- how they will embrace her, how they will challenge her or she challenge them.

I know that we are called to be Sasha's parents.  Any concern that these thoughts bring just lead me back to the grace and sufficiency of HIS power at work in Quincy and me to bring healing and redemption into Sasha's life.

Please keep praying for our family as we walk this journey.  PLEASE pray for Sasha - for all that this change will bring into her life.  So much more than our own.  She will walk into a family, into a language, into a country, into a life -- that she knows nothing about.  God's grace will be all she needs!

Thursday, September 20, 2012

Wondering and Waiting

So . . . our wait begins.  Now comes the time that everything is out of our hands.  First, we'll wait for USCIS (U.S. Immigration) approval to bring Sasha home -- then, as soon as that comes through, we're ready for a quick trip to Tallahassee and then mailing out the dossier to Ukraine.  Now, we just have to sit back and trust God for things to work out in His timing.  I think about Sasha a lot -- picturing her with us, wondering if she'll like my cooking any better than her brothers and sister (hey, one can always hope!), hoping it won't be too isolating for her to have to learn a new language, even wondering if I should bring a doll or stuffed animal with us to Ukraine.  Perhaps, I'll bring both.  I think about how I need to get her clothes (I gave all of Carolyn's clothes away!), wondering what size she even wears -- how do I know what to bring with me?  LOTS of things to wonder about.  I wonder how the kids at home will feel with us gone for a month.  Wondering if I can handle being in Ukraine alone if Q comes home.  Lots to think about.  Lots to pray about.  Never too much for HIM.

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

No If's

I've begun to really wrap my brain around all that is happening in our family.  At first, there was the excitement of seeing God move and spark a love for a little girl half way around the world that we didn't know.  Then, there was the slight panic of figuring out all that needed to be done and how much money we needed to raise -- but somewhere along the way, just recently, in fact -- I've been able to consider what a miracle it really is that God brought Sasha into our lives.

I guess the story would really need to start about 9 months ago (hey -- that sounds like a familiar amount of time, huh?) when I decided to enroll my kids in the homeschool co-op at Grace World Outreach.  I decided to teach a class because that's what I thought all the new moms did (turns out, that's not always true!) on geography for 3rd-5th grades.  In that class was a sweet girl named Gianna.  I didn't really know anything about Gianna - but as the semester went on, I learned that she had several adopted brothers and sisters, at least 1 with Downs Syndrome. 

Sometime during that semester, I went to a big children's used clothes/ toys sale at the fairgrounds where Gianna's mom (Maria) introduced herself to me.  I felt immediately at ease with Maria and even though we didn't stand around and talk, I really felt like I would enjoy getting to know her someday.  At some point, Maria and I became Facebook friends.  I can honestly say that I have no idea how this happened!  I don't remember if I friend-requested her or she did me!  BUT, it wasn't too much longer that I realized that Maria, her husband, and Gianna were all in Ukraine adopting another child.  I tried to keep posted on how things were going -- and then . . . I saw Sasha.  From that point on, I was pretty much glued to Maria's facebook page!

But, here's where the story turns more into a God-thing instead of just a coincidence, and, at first, I didn't really understand it all.  You see, the Falvo's son (also named Sasha) wasn't even normally supposed to be at our Sasha's orphanage ("boarding school")!  He was actually 1 1/2 hours away from his orphanage at a "summer camp" at Sasha's school.  So . . . as you can see, if all those parts didn't come together, we would have never seen our Sasha's picture.  If I hadn't joined the co-op . . . if I hadn't met Maria at the sale . . . if we hadn't have been Facebook friends . . . if the Falvos had been able to get to Ukraine earlier . . . if the Falvo's Sasha had been sent to a different "camp" . . . there are NO "if's" in God's plan for our lives!  He is constantly working things together for our good!