Staying busy!

Well, staying busy may not be the best title for this post -- probably more like -- "on the move" -- we seem to have been mostly sitting in the car this past week, driving to the orphanage or Tokmok for paperwork, or at the notary's.  BUT we have now seen Sasha 4 times! 

There has been a lot of information given to us this week -- some of it true, some of it not.  We have been trying to observe Sasha and learn all we can (even with the language barrier) about what her needs really are.    Today we were given a piece of the puzzle by a caretaker that really helped us begin to see what that full picture of Sasha's life is. 

Sasha was brought to the orphanage when she was 4.  We weren't given the details of the home she was in, but whatever was happening there was enough to keep Sasha locked up in a little mental shell for a long time after coming to the orphanage.  She would not listen or respond to her caretakers.  She wouldn't even look at them.  They tried to teach her things, but she would not open up to them.  Slowly, she started coming out of this shell and if you could see her now, as you may have through videos on Facebook, she seems to be a well-adjusted, happy little girl.  But it doesn't take too long to realize that Sasha is still in the process of coming out of her emotional shell.  She is just learning to trust again.  Trust that someone loves her enough to put up with temper tantrums and silliness.  To let her be embarrased without being teased.  Her emotional reactions to things might be more the equivalent of what we would expect of a 5 or 6 year old.  I believe WITH ALL MY HEART that this is not the Sasha that will always be.  She will someday know that she is loved and always has a family, and she will continue to mature in those emotional reactions as she is allowed to experience them in a normal family situation -- with the discipline and love that parents have to offer.  But it will take some time.  As you watch her play with Quincy, it's a bit more like a 6 or 7 year old -- but then, she'll snap back to being 9 and talking like a 9 year old and certainly playing like one.  She does have that "tremble" in her hands, which gets a bit more pronounced the more excited she is.  It's like any child that is SUPER excited -- gets kind shaky with it all! 

Whatever experiences shaped Sasha's emotional development from birth to four years of age need to be healed in a loving home.  Once she is further along in the process of healing, we can really begin to teach her more academically.  I have to admit that I was shocked when we discovered that she didn't know her colors!  But Halya has assured us that the teachers do not force the children to learn.  If Sasha did not want to learn, they would not force her, in order to help her avoid getting so upset and slipping back into that emotional shell.  So, with time -- all will be healed -- and I KNOW that Sasha will be fine!

Quincy and I have been on an emotional rollercoaster this past week.  Today has been the first day (since leaving Kiev on Monday) that I have been able to really walk in faith ALL day, never wavering -- just trusting.  I still miss the kids at home -- and I still worry that they think we have just deserted them -- but I know that God is good.  And as my mom says, "This too shall pass!"